Are Your Kids Comfortable?
By George “Chip” Hammond
According to a study done by the Barna Group in 2018, Generation Z is the first truly Post-Christian generation. Generation Z is defined as those people born in the U.S. between 1999 and 2015. Even those Generation Z’ers born and brought up in Christian homes are less likely to believe in God, less likely to take commitment to Christ seriously, more likely to attend school or sporting events instead of church, and (it is predicted) more likely to leave the church altogether once they become adults and move out of their parents’ homes.
What accounts for this? It is certainly not a decline in Christianity. In South America, Africa, and the Near and Far East, the Christian faith is spreading like wildfire. (It is reported that Iran has the fasted growing church in the world.) The constant assault on the Faith that comes through the venue of the U.S. public schools may explain some of it, but it’s not limited to public school kids. Indications are that home-schooled and private Christian-schooled kids are “losing their religion” at just about the same rate.
I will warn you; you may not like what I am about to say next, so brace yourself. The reason that Generation Z’ers in this country and culture are losing their faith while their counterparts around the world are growing in theirs has to do with the concern of their parents and church leaders for their comfort. The comfort of our children has become a god; it only makes sense that children will want to make sure that there is no other god before it.
It just seems so “right” to us. Why would we not want our kids to be comfortable? We want them to have all the things we never had. But here’s how it works out in practice: “Oh, you’re bored with church (or don’t like the music, or can’t follow the sermon, or whatever)? We will go somewhere that is more to your liking, more suitable to you, the child.” “Oh, you want to play soccer and soccer meets on Sundays? Well, that’s that for church. God will understand. I want you to have the things I never had.” “Oh, you’d rather not go to Sunday School? That’s fine, dear, I don’t want to force you” (by contrast, imagine the response if the child said, “I don’t want to go to school anymore”).
Adding to the problem and making it worse, American churches have been complicit: “What kind of music would you like us to perform for you?” “How far do we have to water down the message to make it easy and comfortable for you?” “Would you rather we built a game room where you can go and play while your parents go to worship?” “What words and concepts from the Bible are acceptable to you, and which of them make you uncomfortable so we know what to stay away from?” “Oh, there’s a day other than the Lord’s Day on which you’d like to worship? Just let us know, whatever you want. We want you to be comfortable.”
I am blessed that my three adult children all profess faith in Christ, and evidence that faith in their lives, their commitments, and the decisions they make. All of them live away from home, and all of them of their own accord are in churches on Sunday. All of them maintain a Christian fellowship and encouragement with Christian friends. All of them serve others out of conscious love for and commitment to Christ. I take no credit for this. All glory goes to God who alone takes natural hearts of stone and makes them into hearts that are spiritually renewed and alive. But the Bible is clear that God has established a covenant through which he works by means, that is, by the things we do in obedience to him.
When my children were growing up, commitment to Christ and his beloved bride, the church, were non-negotiable. “Is something else happening on Sunday that you really wanted to participate in? Tough.” “Are you feeling sullen today, and don’t want to go to worship or hear what the Bible has to say? Too bad.” “Not getting the same warm fuzzy feeling from church that you do from watching the Power Puff Girls? Good. You’ll learn that it’s not about having warm fuzzy feelings all the time.”
Growing up, my kids learned that following Jesus was hard. He calls us to die to ourselves, to do what He wants us to do rather than what we want to do. They learned that life is not about their comfort, but about conformity to God’s Son in His death (so we die to sin, and to ourselves) and his resurrection (so we walk in new life that is often contrary to the world and our “natural” desires). They learned that life revolves around Christ and his church, not them and their comfort.
I have one Generation Z adult child, my younger son. He is a communicant member and, having been brought up in church and Sunday school and having attended the Communicants Class, he is well-versed in both the Bible and theology. When he is home from school, he wouldn’t think about being anywhere but at his church on Sunday morning. Away at school he regularly attends Grace Orthodox Presbyterian Church for worship and fellowship. During the week he participates regularly in Bible study with his InterVarsity Christian Fellowship small group.
The summer that he graduated from high school he informed us that he was moving out, having gotten a job at Camp High Road which required him to live there during the week. The over-arching goal of the program there is to promote the gospel of Jesus Christ. To do the work they needed him for he had to learn to do things he was uncomfortable with. But he was raised with discomfort for the sake of the gospel, it was nothing new to him.
Much as it might seem “right,” our giving in to kids’ comfort, convenience, and desires will not serve them well, because it veritably lies to them about who God is, who Christ is, and what He calls us to. The god we present them with when we do so is lightweight. The God who is an immovable Rock and whom I must arrange my life around and can build my life upon is worth following with my whole soul and life. The god who is a piece of wicker furniture to be arranged and moved as he suits me is not.
